To Kill a Dragon-Sheepthe Behd Version
by Khaos2511
Summary: No Comment


_*This is completely a story for fun and is in no way shape or form my opinion of any of the persons involved._

**Prologue**

It all started the day she was accidentally _Banned_. Had that event never happened, then perhaps we wouldn't be fighting this war. So really in a way, Rob is partly responsible for the fight we find ourselves in right now. It is only fitting that he was the first to be devoured by the Dragon-Sheep. That being said, he was a brave Alpaca and a skilled fighter. Shortly after she was accidentally banned again, Austin, the nice guy he is, decided it was time to put the "Emerald Penis" in her hands in order to avoid any future bannings. The "Emerald Penis" is a mythical and ancient weapon that makes the user impervious to bans and allows them to wield the power to ban someone with a single swing. It was at the exact moment that this legendary weapon touched the Dragon-Sheep's claws that the world of "Twitch" began to unfurl. _Our future was decided. Our demise is immanent. There is no hope…_

**Our Story Begins…**

I don't have a lot of time to write this down. In 2 hours time I will be joining the last survivors of our little resistance in a battle that will decide the fate of Twitch. If someone out there is actually reading this, that means that we were able to slay Spyro, though my hopes are not high. Spyro is the Dragon-Sheep and the leader of the Spice Bros. Hoarde. Once upon a time she was a very kind and loving mod. She would happily greet all of us with a smile and hearts. However, as her power accumulated, so too did her bloodlust. Soon her smiles turned to sneers and her hearts turned to skulls and crossbones. By the time we realized Spyro had become hungry for power, it was too late. If only we had noticed the change sooner. If only we had had more time…

My name is Khaos and I am a Captain under the command of General Green. In the beginning, our resistance was split into three groups run by three Generals. Each group was responsible for attacking a different part of the Dragon-Sheep's hoarde. The first group's General was Rob. He, originated from a tribe high in the Andes Mountains overlooking Peru. While he was not the brightest tool in the shed, he was one hell of a warrior. If you have never felt his kick…well it isn't recommended. He and his troops were responsible for taking out the grunts of the Dragon-Sheep's forces. And believe me, there were a lot.

Then there was my group. It is a miracle really that our little band of misfits was even able to stay together as long as we did. That is all thanks to General Green, who was the only one with any real fighting experience at the time. Our team was as green as you could get (pun intended). We were thrown into a group due to our skills in both stealth and speed. See, our assignment was to assassinate the Dragon-Sheep's strongest and most trusted advisor, the Scumlord Jsmith. His strategies were top notch and our forces were being decimated because of it. Because our mission was stealth, our group was considerably smaller compared to the other two.

Finally, there was the most important group led by General Austin. Austin was the last of the Grey WoIf tribe. They were a tribe of mercenaries that travelled around Twitch, known for both their tactics and their ability to lead. As such, it was only natural that Austin takes control of the group that was responsible for going after the Dragon-Sheep herself. It is also why the most elite of the fighters could be found under his command. All of our hopes, all of our dreams, rested on his shoulders. However, he was only human.

While all three generals were more than capable in their field of expertise, without someone to keep the groups organized, chaos would have descended upon us faster than a vulture does to road kill. A leader is what our forces needed. And, like King Leonidas was to his Spartans, a leader is what we had. One did not know fear until they looked into the eyes of Zen. Zen had the innate ability to lead. He was the kind of person who when he spoke, you listened. Physically, he was a beast. Hell, the guy's muscles had muscles. And if you thought that was intimidating, wait until you saw his eyes. He had the deepest, blackest eyes you will have ever seen. There was a rumor around the camp that the saying about staring into the abyss and having it stare back originated from the first man to look into Zen's eyes for longer than a second. Under Zen's more than capable command, we really thought that we had a chance to stop Spyro's lust for power once and for all. Never had we been so wrong.

For a while, things seemed to be going well. We had begun to take back some of the land we had lost, and we were losing less men. In fact, there was one night in particular that everybody in the camp had thought that the war was pretty much won. I still remember it like it was yesterday. On June 6th, one of my team's undercover agents brought back some Intel on a village deep within the mountains that covered the southwest corner of Twitch. According to the information, the Scumlord Jsmith and a few of his closest bodyguards were currently sheltered there in the attempt to win the support of the mountain tribes leader: Ohm. Having the support of the Ohmwrecker could easily turn the tide of war in the favor of whomever he allied with. It was imperative that we strike while we had the chance.

That night, General Green had me gather three of our group's finest warriors. One of the three I chose was Peng. He was an elite fighter and one of the best I have ever seen at stealth. We all gathered around the stables of the base for a pep talk from Green. "This is it," he told us, "this is the information we have been waiting for. In just over four hours, we will reach Yama Village where the Scumlord is hiding. According to our Intel, Jsmith is there with only two bodyguards. If we are successful, we can throw the Dragon-Sheep's armies into disarray. Remember, be silent and strike swiftly. Tonight is the night we turn the tides of this war." With that, the four of us let out a cry of support, and we were on our way to battle.

We made very good time travelling under the cover of the night. Normally when leaving camp we have to be on a lookout for the dangers that lurked around every corner. Though it was rare to see any of the Dragon-Sheep's Hoarde this far south, it was not unheard of. There was also the danger of thieves and bandits. These were troubling times in Twitch. With the world as we knew it thrown into chaos, many had taken to violence and pillaging in order to get what was necessary to live. Luckily for us, the moon on this night was practically new and the clouds were many, making the light scarce. We didn't need light anyways. These were paths we had travelled so often that we could have made the trip completely blind. Besides, we were in this group because we were used to the darkness. All of us were known to be skilled assassins, and it is common knowledge that you don't operate in broad daylight in that line of work.

In just under four hours we arrived at the outskirts of Yama. We tied our horses to a tree at the edges of a nearby forest and made our way to a plateau that looked out over the northern part of the town. Yama was not the largest village in the world but where it lacked size, it made up for it in population. Even this late at night the city was alive and bustling. While that would make it easier to approach our target undetected, it made him harder to locate. At the far end of the town we saw a giant, old-fashioned Japanese mansion. All around the mansion were smaller homes, most likely where the servants and upper class lived. This was most likely the property of Ohm. To the right of the property was a building that was not quite as large as the mansion, but larger than the surrounding homes. "That is most likely the guest home." Green noted, picking up my line of sight. "If the Scumlord is here as a guest of Ohm, he is most likely staying there.

After deciding where to start our search, it was time we discussed our plan of action. Green gathered the five of us in a circle and began to draw out a plan. "The fact that this town is so populated will make it much easier for us to approach the compound without looking too suspicious. That being said, I think it will be better if we were to approach it from different angles in two groups. Khaos and I will take the direct route straight through the middle of town. Peng, I want you to take these two and approach from the east. If all goes well, we should reach our destination at the same time. If one of us gets there sooner, do not engage until the rest of us are there." With our council concluded and our plan of approach set, we split into our groups and made our way into the crowd.

From above, the streets looked completely different than the ones we were traveling on now. People were packed so tightly that Green and I had to literally shove our way through the crowds. "So much for not drawing attention to ourselves," I muttered under my breath. That wasn't even the worst part. The layout of the streets created a labyrinth so large that Daedalus himself would have been proud. Hell, I was expecting a Minotaur to pop out every time we turned a corner. In fact, at one point of the trip I swear one did. Although Green assured me it was really just an unnaturally hairy lady. Finally, after about an hour of wrong turns, dead ends, and pulling Green away from every brothel we came across, we reached the gate that led to Ohm's compound.

Up close, the mansion was enormous. It was made of solid white stone while the roof was layered in red shingles. We both pressed ourselves up against the edges of the outer wall, shrinking back into the shadows as much as the thin layer of stone would allow. Patrolling around the building were about a dozen of the scariest looking guards I have ever seen. These guys made Zen look like Urkel, and that is a feat that takes a serious amount of testosterone and steroids to pull off. "Let's split up and get into position while we wait for Peng to get here," said Green snapping me out of my daydream. "You take to the rooftops, I'll get into position down here." I nodded in agreement and as soon as the nearest hulk turned his back, scaled the wall of the closest house. From the roof of the house I was able to see the entire complex. The smaller houses lined the walls in two columns making a kind of path leading to the back wall. Other than their size, they were nearly identical in structure and color to the mansion. At the back wall of the complex was the mansion, and nestled to the left of it was the guesthouse. I decided to make my way down the left path of houses since those led directly to the guesthouse where, if I was lucky, the Scumlord was fast asleep.

As I reached the house, I realized for the first time that something felt off. It wasn't just the whole cliché that it was too easy. I mean it was, but there was something else. "Whatever" I thought, and pushed the thought out of my mind. If there is one thing I had learned over the years, it was that during this kind of operation, distracting thoughts lead to an untimely death. After I had crouched down under the shadow of one of the windowsills, I tried to find where Green had run off. Out of the corner of my eye I saw a flicker of movement and heard a nearby bush rustle. I rolled my eyes and groaned, "Leave it to Green to hide in the greenery."

We waited in our hiding spots for so long that I was beginning to cramp up. After about thirty minutes, bad thoughts began to creep back into my head. "Something is wrong," I kept saying to myself. "Peng should have been here by now." I looked down at Green and squinted at him as if in an attempt to shoot my worries straight into his head. Looking back on it, I probably looked pretty silly. However, he seemed to have gotten the message because he simply nodded back with a solemn expression. In an attempt to find the problem, I retraced our steps from where we first split up. We had been careful not to draw too much attention to ourselves and we hadn't noticed anybody following us. We weren't spotted by any of the guards patrolling the complex either. So why did I feel like I was missing something so obvious? I peeked my head around the edge of the windowsill. It was so quiet. I mean, I knew it was the middle of the night and most people would be asleep by now, but in a place this big with so many people living here, not a single light was on nor was there a single person awake? Only then did I realize that this entire time, that is what was bugging me. Unfortunately for me, I realized it just a little too late.

I turned my head back around to try and signal to Green what was wrong when, BAM! Out of nowhere I was slammed in the face by what felt (and tasted) like the worlds heaviest Penis. I flew off the roof and hit the ground hard on my back: the air flying from my lungs at a speed that would make a Nascar driver jealous. Green was there in an instant helping me to my feet. Squinting up at the roof where I had just been, I saw the silhouettes of three people. The one in the middle was standing with his Penis in the air as if he had just kicked the shit out of…oh. The two people to the left and right of him were standing there with their arms folded and their backs facing the middle. By the way they were posed, I was expecting them to begin chanting, "Prepare for trouble…". Slowly, the middle shadow lowered his Penis and scoffed, "Look boys, I found more rats hiding in the shadows." Dumb and dumber both snickered like the morons they were. His voice was low and cold. He had a sneer across his face that was so wicked, his identity was no longer a mystery. Only a Scumlord could sneer like that.

I got to my feet and slowly unsheathed my Penis, getting ready for the fight that was ahead. Green was way ahead of me. Not only had he already pulled out his Penis, but he was already about 10 yards in front of me. Just as he was about to leap into action Jsmith said what we had both been dreading to hear. "Aren't you wondering what rats I was talking about earlier?" Green screeched to halt. "What did you do to Peng?" Slowly, the Scumlord raised his hand and pointed towards a bundle of trees in the corner. Lying at the base of the tree were the bodies of the two members of our team that had gone with Peng. "If you are wondering what happened to the third, after one cut, he ran away with his tail between his legs. But don't worry, both of you will be seeing your allies again very shortly." Jsmith turned to Thing One and Thing Two and just nodded. His two cronies then leaped off the rooftop to block our path. The message was clear, if you want the Scumlord, you go through us. Green tilted his head and whispered, "Go left, I'll go right."

The two men standing before us were pretty tough for only being henchmen. Then again, I suppose that when you're the personal bodyguards of a Scumlord, it comes with the job. Sparks flew, lighting up the night as, as our Penises clashed again and again. Thing One seemed to have the upper hand in physical strength, but I seemed to be faster. To my right I could hear Thing Two breathing heavily as he struggled to keep up with Green's mix of speed and strength. This needed to end quickly if we were going to have any chance of killing Jsmith. Thing One's Penis came crashing down on me snapping me out of my daydream just in time to deflect it off my shoulder. A biting pain jolted through my arm and I felt the warmth of the blood soaking my shirt. This was no good; my left arm would be completely useless for the duration of this fight. I needed to strike quickly before any more damage was done. Thing one must have thought I was trying to run when I jumped back because he came charging at me. He was holding his Penis directly over his head, getting ready for what looked like one hell of a vertical strike. I played the part of the wounded victim pretty well myself. Just as he sent the Penis crashing down on me, I kicked off of the ground and rolled around to the side of him. Using my good arm, I propelled myself up from the ground and sent my Penis slamming into his face. Thing One stumbled backwards, eyes wide in both confusion and horror. He was clutching his nose, leaving his torso wide open. He realized it too late. Clutching my Penis tightly, I spun around and sent the tip straight through his heart. As he collapsed to the ground, I looked over to see how Green was doing. Not surprisingly, his opponent wasn't fairing any better. In fact just as I turned to see, Thing Two's head went flying from his shoulders. "Two down." I said. Turning his head towards Jsmith, Green growled, "One to go."

That stupid sneer had never left Jsmith's face. Sliding down from the roof, he began to chuckle. "Very good," He grinned. "I didn't think you had it in you. Those were my two best bodyguards." Green stepped forward, matching Jsmith's grin with a cocky smile of his own. "It's over Scumlord. You have no more bodyguards and now it is two on one." Jsmith chuckled again. I was really starting to hate his stupid laugh. "Technically," he said, "It is one and a half on one, seeing how your partner there only has one good arm." Aright, I'll admit it. I was embarrassed. Here I am, Captain of Green's force, and some moron with a sword seriously wounds me. Trying to defend myself, I said, "I'm in better shape than you're about to be." Unfortunately, my voice cracked as I said it. Green literally facepalmed. "Same thing as last time," Green murmured. "Go left, I'll go right." Slowly, I began to circle left, Green doing the same on the other side. When we had both reached the angle on the Scumlord that we wanted, we charged.

We reached him at the exact same time. We had gotten there quickly, both slashing our Penises in a vertical arc towards the defenseless Jsmith. There was no way he would have time to react. Victory was ours. _Clang._ Just as our Penises had reached him, two Penises propelled out of his sleeves, stopping our swings in their tracks. Green and I didn't even have time to be surprised. Jsmith ducked under our Penises and spun, sending the edges of his two Penises towards our now open stomachs. Had we not been trained to react, our guts would have been strewn across the battlefield. Instead, we were able to land and push backwards off the ground, leaving just a thin cut on both of us. "You didn't think I actually NEEDED those bodyguards did you?" he hissed. "They were there simply as a sign of power." Green and I glanced over at each other. "This is bad," I winced. "I'm starting to get a little light headed from the blood loss in my shoulder, and he is even stronger than you." Green sighed, "All we can do is keep attacking and hope to land a hit." "If you two are done strategizing, can we get back to this fight? I have a meeting with the Dragon-Sheep and if I am late I will probably get eaten." Jsmith said, with a mocking tone. The two of us turned and readied our Penises once again. What happened next is still a blur.

Jsmith was fast, like, really fast. One second he was in front of us, next thing I knew he was behind me and in the process of planning my decapitation. If Green hadn't been there, I'd be dead. Jsmith's Penis was inches from my neck when Green jumped in and parried the blow away. "Keep your eyes open! He's fast," Green scolded. Then he was behind Green and it was my turn to parry the blow. The fight went on like this for about ten minutes. It was the most ridiculous game of cat and mouse I have ever been a part of. And believe me, playing defense for ten minutes straight is exhausting. Things were not looking good for us. What made it worse was that despite the fact that Jsmith seemed to be everywhere at once, he wasn't even breathing heavily. In fact, there wasn't a drop of sweat on him. "There is no way he is human," I panted. "He doesn't have to be," replied Green, "He's a Scumlord." So there we stood, back to back, waiting for Jsmith to strike.

He appeared directly above us. How he got there, I don't know, but he came dropping in on us like a nuke. As he made contact with our Penises, the force of the blow caused us to go flying apart. Green hit the ground hard, rolling to a stop on the dirt. Unfortunately for me, I went straight into a tree. I laid there in a daze, and watched as Jsmith slowly walked up to Green. Green had a gash on his forehead and I could only assume he was in as much of a daze as I was. Jsmith slowly raised his Penis above his head. "It's been fun." That sneer, that damn sneer had not left his face still. And as he dropped his Penis down on Green, it only got bigger. Blood splattered across the ground. Had it been a happier time, the look of astonishment on Jsmith's face would have been priceless. Standing in front of Green, Penis through his stomach was Peng. What was even more astonishing was Peng's Penis that was protruding through Jsmtih. Peng must have never actually run away. Instead, the conclusion Green and I had come to, is that it was a tactical retreat. He had been waiting for the right time to strike from the shadows. And in the most important of times, Peng became a hero. Jsmith collapsed to the ground, no longer breathing. Turning to Green, Peng whispered, "Slay the Dragon-Sheep and free Twitch from this chaos." Green nodded, and with a smile on his face, Peng closed his eyes for the last time.

For the next hour, Green and I sat in complete silence. We had accomplished our mission, but neither of us were in the mood for celebrating. Peng was gone. Even if we were able to defeat the Dragon-Sheep, Peng wouldn't be around to celebrate and, with the sacrifice he made, that just wasn't fair. This was a war. People died every day, but not Peng. Why did it have to be Peng? The sun began to come up as we piled the bodies of the fallen beneath the trees. After that was done, we took a tour around the compound. The guards that had been there the night before were nowhere to be seen now. 'Must have been Ghouls," Green noted. A Ghoul was the spirit of someone who was dead, but was unable to find the light. As a result, their spirits became lost in nothingness and were eventually found by a local necromancer. They were very commonly used as guard dogs, however they could not live in our world when the sun came up. Now that the sun had come up, we were able to get our first clear look at the compound. What we saw made our skin crawl. It looked as though we were standing in the middle of a crime scene. The houses were painted red with dried blood and in some of the doors you could see limbs sticking out. The mansion hadn't fared any better. 'That bastard" I whispered in disbelief. "Ohm must not have supported the Scumlord's plan. The fool slaughtered them all. Grab something to prove that Jsmith is dead and Ill get Peng's body ready to bring back to base. We need to get out of here before more people catch on."

The trip back to base was both quiet and depressing. We put the bodies of our fallen comrades on the horses and walked the entire way back. As if we weren't already in a bad enough mood, it began to pour halfway through. Green and I were reluctant to enter base as the gates opened. We knew the other troops would be excited to hear the news. But neither of us wanted to be the one to tell everybody that we had lost over half of our team. In their eyes, our mission would be considered a success. A bittersweet one mind you, but a success nonetheless. We didn't view it that way. Our mission had been an utter failure in our eyes. We had lost three of our best men and, though we weren't going to admit it, we had been beaten. Had Peng not taken that blow, Green would have been dead and me shortly after. No, this mission was far from a success.

The eager faces of the troops hurt, but the sadness that washed over them when they heard Peng was dead was like a Penis to the heart. The bodies of our fallen allies were taken to be prepped for their funerals. Green went off to find Zen and report the events that had taken place. As for me, I needed a drink. Not only had I been wounded by the Scumlord's lackey, I had gotten my butt handed to me by Jsmith himself. I entered the local bar and sat down at the corner stool. As I took disheartened sips from the pale ale in the mug, I surveyed the room. Because it was only the early afternoon, the bar was lacking patrons. However, as expected, the local "Beer Connoisseur" Cam, was drunkenly dancing in the corner. Cam had always been a good guy. He lived his life one day at a time and I respected him for it. He was the captain of General Rob's forces and was pretty solid with a knife when he didn't have too much alcohol in his system. As he slowly spun around, chugging his arms to "Boogie Woogie Choo Choo Train", he caught me staring and started making his way over. "Heeeeeeeeey man wassap," he slurred. By the amount of beer on his breath, I estimated he had been here since the early morning. "Not now man," I groaned. "It hasn't been a good 24 hours." He responded by forcing a pint of Sam Adams down my throat. Any other day and I may have gotten up and left, but I have to admit, the numbness I felt from the beer actually felt pretty nice. "Now then," Cam said, "Start from the top and don't stop until the end. Unless you need to take a drink, in which case it is totally acceptable to stop." I recounted the mission from top to bottom. Surprisingly, by the time I was done with my story, I had seven empty mugs in front of me and I was feeling pretty damn good. I looked up at Cam to see his reaction to the news that the Scumlord was dead. For a split second he looked completely sober. His eyes were sharp and there was legitimate concern and anger on his face. He looked at me out of the corner of his eye and as quickly as the seriousness had appeared, it left, only to leave his eyes glazed over once again. I decided that it was a figment of my drunken imagination and pushed the memory from my mind. After a few more drinks, I stumbled home and crashed for the night.

The next day, our band of troops held a funeral for the three men we lost. The skies were a dark grey and the rolling thunder made it seem as if the clouds would burst at any moment. All three generals and their captains had attended the funerals as well as Zen. It was rare to see all three generals at one funeral. We lost so many men in this war that usually each group would hold their own private burials. However, Peng had sacrificed his life to take out the Scumlord. It was only right that the leaders of our resistance attended. Zen opened the ceremony by saying, "We are here today, not to mourn the passing of a warrior, but to celebrate the birth of a hero." That was bullshit and we all knew it. All that was coming out of Zen's mouth was propaganda in an attempt to keep up our morale. I couldn't blame the guy. In this time of war, it was critical to keep up the morale of your troops. But it just didn't seem like the right time. Still he was right, Peng had definitely died a hero. While each general took their turn spewing nonsense about their "memories" of Peng, I took a glance over at Cam. I didn't remember a whole lot of our conversation in the bar the day before, but something just didn't feel right. The way he looked at me as I delivered the news of Jsmith's death had haunted my dreams that night. His eyes had been piercing and his anger apparent. As I came back to reality, I realized he was staring at me now the exact way he had been before. Something wasn't right. Then, just like before, the look of anger slipped from his face and he nodded to me with his normal glazed over expression.

When the funeral was over, the Generals, Captains, and even Zen decided to hit the bar for another day of drinking away our pain. As we made our way to the bar, I pulled Green aside. "There is something wrong with Cam." I said. "Well duh." Green said rolling his eyes. "No, I'm serious. Ever since he found out about Jsmith's death, he has been very unCamlike." "How so?" Green asked. "He has had this look on his face: Eyes that pierce your soul." "Khaos," Green said, "We just lost one of our stronger troops to the enemy. You are going through grief. Take a few days off and rest. I'm sure when you are able to clear your head you'll see how stupid you are sounding right now." That was Green, blunt as ever. I rolled my eyes. "Whatever," I said, clearly aggravated. "C'mon, let's go drink like there's no tomorrow."

We were about ten steps from the bar when it all went down. In the distance we heard the sounds of war horns blaring. We had installed the alert system in the case that our base was ever attacked. But our base shouldn't have been attacked. We were extremely well hidden and had lasted for two years now without attack. As we got closer to the outer walls of the base, we began to see fighting in the distance. "Everybody to your stations!" yelled Zen. Our lookout troops would provide a bit of a distraction as we got ourselves organized, but sadly, they were going to die doing so. "Alpha, to me!" Austin shouted over the blaring horns. Troops began to swarm around Austin. "Stay to the back! Keep an eye out for Spyro." Zen ordered. "But..!" Austin began to protest but Zen angrily cut him off. "Your troops are the best fighters we have! We can't waste them on the grunts! That is what Rob is for!"

"Gee, thanks," said Rob. "Ok! Alpaca Patrol, gather here and on my mark we charge. Help any of the troops already in battle that you can. We need to keep them from advancing!" As he barked out orders, Green and I went to Zen. "What are our orders?" asked Green. "Now that your group has accomplished your overall mission, you are now to be under Rob's command. Help him with the grunts."

After about 15 minutes of chaos, we began to look like an actual force. Rob had ordered Green and I to take about a third of the troops and break off to the left in an attempt to flank the opposing force. While we were attacking from the left, Rob and Cam led the bulk of the force in a head on attack. As we looped around, I looked back in time to see Zen grab a large, midnight black, Penis and charge straight into battle. Don't be distracted by our leaders flashy choice of Penis, there was not a stronger fighter among us. When he entered battle, not even a meth head would be dumb enough to stand against him. We came to the top of a hill, and for the first time we got our first look at the full size of the army we were facing. It was massive. "How the hell did they find us?!" Green shouted to nobody in particular. "Ok," he sighed, "We need a plan."

"Well whatever it is," I said, pointing to the battlefield. "We need to decide quickly." Down on the field, Rob's forces had already begun their charge. "What the fuck is he thinking?" Green snapped. "He didn't even wait for us to get in position!" After a minute of frantic planning, we had decided on a course of action. We formed what Green called a "Phalanx"; although I get the feeling if the Greeks had seen our formation, they would have pissed themselves laughing. "They don't seem to have noticed us yet," said Green. "Wait for an opening and when I give the signal, we charge." We didn't have to wait long. Rob's forces were strong, but they were outnumbered about 5 to 1, and it wasn't long before they began to lose ground. "NOW!" yelled Green. And with that, we charged.

I don't know if anybody reading this has ever sprinted full speed into a wave of heavily armored people with extremely sharp Penises in their hands, but let me tell you, it sucks. Imagine running as fast as you can, head first into the surf on a stormy day, right as a large wave crashes down on your head. That doesn't even come close to the crunch of the Penis on Penis clash of war. However, pain aside, our plan worked pretty well. We took the enemy forces completely by surprise leading to one hell of a rally. While the enemy was in a state of panic and confusion, Rob led his second assault. His forces came surging back like high tide on a full moon and for the first time of this battle, our forces had the upper hand. Right in the middle of the fighting was Zen, sweeping enemies away with his penis as easily as he would swat a fly. As for me, I found myself surrounded by seven of the biggest, warriors I have ever seen. Each of them was about seven feet tall, horribly disfigured, and carried crude, primitive looking penises. Fortunately for me, they were also seven of the dumbest. Two of the seven ran at me from opposite directions and swung horizontally in the attempt to cleave my head from my shoulders. I did what any sane person would do. I ducked. Both of the penises went sailing over my head and sliced clean through the necks of the other. Both heads went rolling in different directions. The other five didn't seem to like that because they all screeched and charged. Did I mention they were stupid? Right as they reached me, I launched myself into the air and grabbed onto a low hanging branch of the tree above me. All five of the enemy crashed into each other and fell on their butts. Call it a cheap shot, but I took this opportunity to settle this little fight. Letting go of the branch, I dropped back down to the ground, and spinning in a circle, took off all five of their heads with one swing.

I was on top of the world. I had just beaten seven enemies at once. I looked back over to where the main conflict was and….my heart dropped. We hadn't had the upper hand for long. Our forces had been forced into little bundles; Islands in a sea of enemy troops. Zen was still alone, but he was tiring. As proof, he had a long jagged slash across his chest. Green had been backed into the walls, surrounded by only about ten of our troops. As for Rob and Cam….wait, where was Cam? Rob had been pushed back to the hill and was completely out numbered. Cam was nowhere to be found; he was most likely another victim in this ruthless and never-ending war. At the top of the wall, Austin was readying his troops to charge, but it was too little too late.

Just as Austin began his descent from the wall, a large shadow passed over him and his troops. They froze in their tracks. Then we heard it. Standing in place with his eyes wide and mouth agape, Austin's captain slowly raised is finger into the air. He belted out, "DRAGON-SHEEP!" before getting sent flying to his end by Spyro's tail. The fact that Spyro had entered the battle was bad, but what, or rather who, was on her back killed whatever little amounts of morale we had left. Sitting there, Penis in the air and hurling obscenities was none other than Cam. Luckily for those of us on the ground, the Dragon-Sheep's forces seemed to be as surprised as we were because all fighting had come to a complete stand still. Spyro came to a stop, hovering above the hill where Rob stood. "Take care of this one," she hissed. "When he is dead, I will decide you can be trusted." Cam jumped of the Dragon-Sheeps back and landed on the grass with a soft thud. I glanced over to wear Green stood and mouthed, "Told you." He glared back daggers and mouthed, "Not now!"

With a smirk on his face, Cam strolled over to Rob. The forces surrounding them backed off to give them space to fight. "Why?" Rob said, in an exasperated tone. "You were my Captain. You were my chosen one! I… I loved you." Cam broke out into a cackle that would put the Wicked Witch of the West to shame. "I have been spying on this little band of idiots from the very beginning. You don't honestly think you stood a chance against Spyro did you? We could have crushed you at any time."

"Then why didn't you?" Rob asked, a single tear running down his face. "Killing Jsmith was the last straw. Never before had we considered you a threat. But now that he is dead, Lady Spyro has decided to make me her new Scumlord. It is an offer I just can't pass up." With that, he raised his Penis. "Get ready Rob," Cam said softly, "Here I come."

Sparks flew as their Penises clashed. The fight between these two was both majestic and terrifying. They were locked in a fierce dance that would not end well. They were in their own little world now. Cam feigned a strike to the left then quickly spun a kicked his Penis straight into the chest of Rob. The force of the Penis sent Rob flying back to the edge of the ring that had been opened in the surrounding forces. He stood up clutching at where he had been hit. "Admit it Rob, I'm too fast for you. You never were able to keep up with me." There was no response. Instead, Rob charged back into battle. Again and again their penises clashed. Cam was right though, Rob was tiring fast. Cam wildly slashed at Rob's head at a speed and angle that was nearly impossible to block. Rob must have agreed because he didn't even try. Instead, he let the tip of cam's Penis open a small gash across his forehead as he dropped to the ground, sweeping his leg out and taking Cam's out from under him. Cam hit the ground hard on his back and let out a gasp as the air flew from his lungs. Rob had fire behind his eyes. Nothing stings more than to be scorned by the one you love. He gripped his Penis with both hands, angling it down as if to stab Cam. He leaped into the air and came down hard. As fast as lightning, Cam kicked his feet up from the ground, striking rob in the stomach and sending him high up into the air. Before he was even able to reach the peak of his ascent, Spyro came flying down from the wall, and with one giant gulp, Rob was gone.

We were all horrified. Let me tell you, you have not seen hell until you see a Dragon-Sheep unhinge their jaw far enough to eat a grown man in one bite. Cam slowly stood up from the ground, panting heavily. Our morale was shot to hell. Austin hadn't moved one step since Spyro first appeared. "Retreat!" He yelled. "Everybody get to the Sanctuary!" The battlefield turned into complete disarray. Structure had been thrown out the window the minute Rob was eaten. There was a lingering confusion in the enemy forces that provided just enough time for everybody to scramble. I saw Zen and Green sprint into the forest and within seconds they were out of sight. Austin had been gone from the second he yelled the retreat. As for me, I made it out by the skin of my teeth. Spyro's forces had snapped out of their state of confusion and were picking off any stragglers that were too slow or too wounded to get away. I quickly turned and ran towards the woods. Just as I had just about reached the fringe of the forest, Spyro swooped down from out of nowhere and grabbed my arm, lifting me into the air. I slid my spare Penis from the strap on my leg and jammed it as deep into her claws as I could. Her green, acidic blood spurted out, burning holes in my shirt. The damage to her wasn't severe, but it was enough to get her to drop me.

Unfortunately, I was pretty high up in the air. As I fell, I reached out for the branches of the nearby trees. Due to the force of the fall, the branches kept breaking as I grabbed them. I slammed into the last branch and fell the final few feet to the ground. The strength of the impact forced my vision to tunnel. Above me I could just barely make out a large shadow slowly descending through the trees. The image of the Dragon-Sheep descending upon me was enough to snap me out of my daze. I scrambled back up to my feet and took off into the thicker part of the forest. That would hopefully be enough of an obstacle to slow Spyro for long enough to provide me with a chance to escape to the Sanctuary. The Sanctuary was a place that we had designated as a safe haven should our old base ever be compromised. It seems kind of silly now with the amount of troops that we lost in this attack, but we had to start rebuilding somewhere. We wouldn't be able to stay there long though. After all, Cam knew its location. We would only get a few days of peace to plan out our final assault before Spyro was once again knocking at our door.

It was about a nine-mile trek to the sanctuary from where I had first entered the woods. I was fortunate that I didn't run into any trouble in the woods along the way because with how exhausted I was, it may not have ended well. By the time I reached the Sanctuary, the sun was setting. The wind had picked up a bit and it was starting to get cold. From the outside, the sanctuary didn't look like much. Anybody outside would have seen just a few stonewalls that had seen too many days. There were gaping holes in it, and the corners were beginning to crumble. Once you entered though, it became so much more. The inside of the walls were engraved with some of the most famous warriors known to man. On the north wall was Achilles in his chariot, dragging the corpse of Hector behind him. On the east wall stood a portrait of Alexander the Great. He stood tall and had a smug expression carved into his eyes. On the south wall was Napoleon. He sat on his horse with his Penis raised in the air as if signaling his troops to charge. Finally, on the west wall was Genghis Kahn holding some poor soul's head in the air. None of us knew why this sanctuary was here or what it was used for, but we were fortunate to have found it.

I entered through the north walls, taking in my surroundings as I walked. From the looks of things, not a lot of our troops had made it here. The layout inside of the walls was pretty simple. There was only one dirt road. Lined on each side of the road were small buildings. There was a tavern, a barber, restaurants; pretty much anything you would find in your typical town. At the end of the road was a big stone building that I could only assume was where I would find any of the leaders, had they made it here alive. I made my way down the road, scanning for any familiar faces. There were grim expressions all around. Too many of our soldiers had lost their lives today. The end of this war was quickly approaching, and those of us remaining didn't have the highest hopes for a positive outcome.

I walked inside and was immediately greeted by guards. "Identify yourself!" one of them said. He was a pretty well built guy. He had dark brown hair and bright blue eyes. A jagged scar ran down the side of his jaw as if he had tried to eat a weed whacker. Now don't get me wrong, I am happy that we had guards to keep watch over our leaders when they were busy; however, being a Captain came with certain privileges. One such privilege was that I didn't need to answer to anybody that wasn't a General or Zen. "I'm Mike-Fucking-Bithell," I rolled my eyes, "Now get the hell out of my way." Was that a bit rude? Yeah probably, but give me a break, I just watched tons of my allies get slaughtered. "We asked for your identity. Either tell us or leave." This guy had a stick up his ass so deep it was a miracle it wasn't poking out of his mouth. I sighed. "My name is Khaos. I am a Captain of General Green's force. If you don't believe me then perhaps we can go interrupt the Generals and you can ask him yourself." This was not an idea the guard seemed to like. "Oh, um, my apologies sir," He stuttered. "No problem…" I leaned in close to read his nametag, "Chro. Now if you will excuse me." The two guards stepped aside allowing me to pass between them. As I walked through I thought I heard Chro mumble, "Asshat," but I couldn't be sure.

I opened a big, oak door at the end of the hall. Inside, Zen, Austin and Green were all hunched over a desk. Austin and Green looked up as I walked through the doorway. "Thank the gods," Green said. "At least one of the captains was able to make it here alive." He looked at the holes in my shirt and the dried blood on my arm. "Although whether or not it is in one piece is yet to be determined." Austin nodded in my direction. "You're late," said Zen. "Well Zen is a chatty as ever," I thought to myself. "Sorry, I had a little run in with a Dragon-Sheep," I fired back. He looked up at me with a little smirk on his face. "We were just discussing our plan of attack. Perhaps you would like to add your two cents?" Now, I know we were in a state of panic after the recent slaughter of our troops, but Captains didn't usually get to put their input into a battle plan. "You want my opinion?" I asked hesitantly. "Well," stated Zen, "We have an opening for a General, and seeing as how you are the only Captain to make it to the Sanctuary, you are the perfect candidate." I was speechless. Zen must have seen that because he said, "So are you going to give us your opinion, or are you going to sit there and stare at me all day?" "Well," I said, "Cam knows where the Sanctuary is, so we won't have long to prepare. That being said, we will most likely have at least a few days since Spyro will need to let her forces rest. We could use that time to set up our remaining forces behind the walls." "So you are suggesting a plan of defense?" asked Green. "That won't work," countered Austin. "While I agree that, in general, defense is the best offense, these walls won't hold long, and once they are through, we are cornered." "So what do you suggest then?" I asked. "I'm not sure…" he replied. "What if we were to set up our forces on this plateau?" Green said, pointing at the map. Zen's eyes lit up. "We could set up 2/3rds of our troops there and then bait them to it." "They have no way of knowing how many of us survived," I said. "That would definitely give us the chance to have the element of surprise." "So it is decided," said Zen. "We will set our troops up here," he pointed to the map. "All that is left to decide is who will lead the bait." Green and I looked at each other. "Khaos and I will do that," he said. "We have worked together up to this point. I don't see a reason to stop now." "So be it," said Austin. "Just make sure you both get back to the main group alive. We need as many strong warriors as we can get. The muses will make songs about the battle to come for ages." On that note, the war council ended.

Over the next two days, survivors from the slaughter arrived at the Sanctuary. At the end of the second day we took a role call. Only seventy troops had made it out of there alive. Of those seventy, only fifty-five of them were in fighting condition. Those that were unable to fight were sent back to their homes with a pat on the back. It had been decided that Green and I would set up with about 20 of our troops here while Zen and Austin would lead the remaining thirty-five to the plateau. After they had left, Green and I addressed our troops for the first time. "I would like to start out by thanking those of you who came here knowing full well that in a few days, you would be seeing combat once again. It takes a lot of courage to still fight after what we all just witnessed. That being said, this isn't the time to pat yourselves on the back. Tomorrow, the Dragon-Sheep and her forces will reach the outer walls of the Sanctuary. Our mission is simply to engage them, and bait them to the Plateau where the rest of out forces will be waiting. If all goes well, we will catch them out of formation, and perhaps we can make the size difference of our armies into an advantage." Green took a deep breath. When he exhaled he continued. "Once we reach the plateau, Zen and Austin will be in charge of taking down the Dragon-Sheep. The rest of us will be responsible for keeping her minions away from them. You have all been assigned a General from which you will be receiving orders. Follow them to the end. And one last thing," Green said, narrowing his eyes. "Nobody touches Cam. That bastard is mine." As Green stepped away from the podium I stepped forward. "This is it. This is the battle that will decide the fate of Twitch. It is not about glory, nor is it about honor. This battle is a battle for freedom. We have seen countless men and women die because of the bloodlust of the Dragon-Sheep and she will not rest until she is recognized across Twitch as the supreme overlord. Tomorrow we all have the chance to be heroes. So far in this war, we have lost more battles than we have won. But that in turn has given us knowledge. In battle, all you need to help you win is a little hot blood and the knowledge that it's more dangerous to lose than it is to win. Tomorrow, when we fight, we will show Spyro what we have learned from our defeats. Tomorrow, we will rise, not as individuals, but as one giant entity and we will show the Dragon-Sheep that we will not be silenced. Tomorrow we take back or homes and or lives. Tomorrow," I paused, "TOMORROW, WE WIN THIS WAR!" The roar of applause was so loud that the walls shook. We may not have had the numbers that Spyro had, but we had something more important. For the first time in a long time, we had hope.

So there you have it. Everything that has happened in the last few months is right there. More than likely, we will be completely wiped out. All of us Generals are thinking it, though we don't dare say it to our troops. Let them have their hope. It will most likely be the last bit of happiness they get. Tomorrow, Spyro and her hoarde will come knocking on our doors. Should some miracle occur and our plan actually works, I will continue to write. If this is the last thing you read of this story, then we were annihilated. Here is to hoping that better times are ahead of us. Until then…

The battle that came the next day was insane. There really isn't a better way to describe it. The events that happened in that final battle will haunt my dreams for years to come. It has been a week since it all went down and I am still speechless. However, for the sake of you who have read up to this point, I will try.

As dawn approached, Zen and Austin led their part of our remaining forces towards where the final battle would take place. It was hard to imagine that one way or another, the war was going to end today. I did my best to stay positive, if not for me then for our troops, but my stomach was not making it easy. Green and I decided that we would split up our troops so that we each had command over half of the Sanctuary. We agreed that I would control the west half and he would take the East. I lined up my troops so that the majority was ready to book it to the plateau. I looked over to see Green standing up on top of the wall, arms crossed, and staring at the horizon. Not to be outdone, I went and joined him. The sun was just beginning to peek over the line of trees. The sky was already stained red, is if it knew of the battle that was soon to come. In better times, this would have been a beautiful sight. Unfortunately, these were not better times. "No matter what happens here today," I began, "It's been an honor-". Green raised his hand in the air, cutting off the rest of my sentence. "Don't," he said. "Whatever you are about to say, say it after this is over." "But-" I protested. Again he raised his hand in the air. He turned and smiled. "We will make it," he said, "I promise." Shortly after, everything began to fall apart.

We first heard it at around 9:30. The sun had finally gotten above the trees, casting ominous shadows on the walls. It started out as just a little buzz in the distance; however, as they got closer it turned into a deafening roar. Soon enough, we got out first glimpse at the approaching army. We must have killed more of them than I had originally thought because the army before us wasn't as big as I was expecting. That being said, compared to our numbers, it was massive. They paused right at the edge of the walls. The combination of their battle cries and the clank of their Penises against their shields was so loud that Green and I had to shout just to hear each other. "Get ready!" he yelled. "At the first sign of Spyro, we give the order to retreat to the plateau." I nodded. Looking back at the army in front of us, something just didn't seem right. Spyro was a dragon-sheep. She stuck out like a sore thumb. And why weren't her forces charging into battle. They were just sitting there staring at us, as if they were waiting for something, but for what? Just then it struck me. No seriously, what they were waiting for literally struck me. I felt a sharp pain in the pack of my left shoulder. There was a Penis sticking out of my shoulder. I reached back and yanked it out. Green spun around and shouted, " They've surrounded us! Prepare for battle!" I was just standing there staring at the Penis. We didn't have the troops to deal with a full on fight. The plan had been to simply retreat to the rest of our forces. "Khaos!"yelled Green. "Snap the fuck out of it!" I looked up to see both concern and annoyance in his eyes. "Right," I said, coming out of my daze. "Sorry." I turned to my half of troops and yelled, " Get ready for a fight! We need to hold out until a lane opens. Wait for the retreat orders and when you hear them, book it to the plateau." With that, the enemy charged.

We were incredibly outmatched. The enemy army nearly tripled us in size and we were being attacked on all fronts. Green had stayed up on the wall to continue shouting out orders. As for me, I jumped down from the wall and stood with the troops. I have to admit, while I didn't have the greatest hope, my blood was boiling. Nothing gets me more excited then a fight, no matter how hopeless the outcome seemed. I ordered the troops into a formation. The goal was to survive the initial charge from the enemy. Once that happened I would start considering a counter-attack. The enemy force slammed into our wall of bodies. Immediately about nine of our troops were skewered. Not the best start, but at least we hadn't completely collapsed. "Push!" I commanded. We dug our heels into the dirt and began to push back. Slowly but surely we stopped being forced inward and even began to expand. We may not have had the numbers, but what we lacked in size we made up for in determination. We were sick of losing. Sick of being pushed around. This was a fight that we were determined to win, no matter the cost. I peeked over at Green up on the wall.

Green seemed to be doing just fine. He had been surrounded by enemy troops, yet he had a huge smile on his face. That man lived and breathed action. Despite his being completely outnumbered, it was the enemy that was being pushed back. Every time they tried to push in, Green would pull some mad Zelda shit and spin with his Penis pointed out. The enemy was completely taken aback and some even fell off of the wall. Just then, those remaining stopped and backed off. I had seen this before, and Green knew what it meant too. He stood still, glaring at the stairs that lead down to the ground. Sure enough, in a matter of seconds, Cam climbed the last step and stood facing Green. He had on his face what I can only assume was his attempt at a scumlord's smirk. In reality, it looked like he had just gone number two in his pants and was dealing with the lack of comfort that came with it. Slowly, the scowl Green was wearing faded and a look of absolute delight appeared. Then, he lost it. Green busted out in uncontrollable bouts of laughter. "Du-Dude…" he sputtered between giggles, "What the hell is up wi- with that face?" The smirk faded from Cam's face and in its place came anger. "Shut up" he barked. But Green just kept giggling. Cam began walking toward Green. His anger was apparent and he was taking it out on anybody that was in his path. Unfortunately for his troops, they were the only people in his way. As he continued to walk towards Green, their bodies rained down on those of us below. He stopped just feet in front of Green and unsheathed his Penis. Green's smile disintegrated and his scowl reappeared. He too unsheathed his Penis.

Clouds quickly gathered and blotted out the light of the sun as if attracted to the friction that was in the air. Both men took their stances and readied their Penises. A large crack of lightning split the sky and rain poured down on the battlefield. Both Green and Cam charged. Like Han, Cam shot first. He launched his Penis down on Green, aiming straight for his neck. Green anticipated the attack and jumped to the side and off the wall. Just as he began to fall, he reached out his arm and grabbed onto one of the crevices. Using all of his strength he launched himself back over the wall and landed behind Cam, kicking out his leg in the process. Cam jumped just in time, but Green took this opportunity to strike while he was stuck in the air. Green stabbed his Penis out towards Cam's head. Unable to dodge the attack, Cam instead used his sword to deflect the blow, opening a cut just above his right cheek. Green was fast, too fast in fact for Cam. He launched attack after attack, forcing Cam to protect, and not leaving any openings for a counter-attack. Cam had lost all of his cockiness. He wasn't used to being pushed like this. Even against Rob, he had been able to keep the upper hand. "You can't keep defending forever Cam!" Green yelled over the sound of the rain. "Sooner or later, you will get tired and make a mistake." "You're wrong," countered Cam. "I'll kill you just like I killed Rob. Your resistance was doomed to fail from the start." Green slashed out again at his neck. This time, Cam had anticipated it. He ducked the blow and tackled Green to the ground. Cam threw punch after punch. Green did his best to block the blows, but eventually, one slipped through catching him on the chin. Cam took advantage of the daze Green was in a slipped a Penis out of his sleeve, holding it to Green's throat. "Why?" whimpered Green. "Why what?" asked Cam. "Why did you betray us? How could you just kill Rob knowing full well how he felt about you?" A look of guilt passed over Cam's face. "I exist solely to survive." He whispered. "At first…At first I thought that we actually stood a chance at beating Spyro. But we were fools. She is too strong, so I decided to go to the winning side. No matter what kind of world Twitch turns into, I will survive." "And Rob?" asked Green, a look of sorrow showing on his face. "Rob…" whispered Cam. "Rob was a fool. I loved that about him, but…" "YOU WERE HIS CHOSEN ONE!" Yelled Green. "You knew that, and yet you still betrayed him. You are scum, and you will die like scum!" shouted Green. Anger rose in Cam's voice. "You know nothing about me!" He countered. "Now go and join Rob in the afterlife!" With that, Cam raised the Penis and slammed it down at Green's neck.

Apparently Green had been acting a little more dazed than he really was. Like lightning, he raised his legs and wrapped them around Cam's neck. Cam's eyes widened, a look of astonishment on his face. He quickly launched himself off of Green, breaking the grip of Green's legs. Green rolled back and flipped up to his feet. After picking his Penis back up from the ground, he and Cam faced each other down once again. Another flash of lightning cracked across the sky.

Down on the ground, things weren't going very well. Our little band of troops had become separated. We weren't supposed to still be fighting here. By this time we were supposed to already be at the plateau. Hopefully Austin and Zen had figured out by now that something had gone wrong and sent help, but we were most likely on our own. A large Penis sailed through the air in an attempt to cleave my head from my shoulders. I bent back and watched as the Penis sailed just above the tip of my nose. Out of the corner of my eye I saw Green and Cam struggling with each other on the ground. This wasn't good. At any moment Spyro could show up to the battlefield. If that happened, and we were unable to retreat, this fight would be over just as quickly as it had started.

Another Penis launched itself in my direction. This time however, I was ready for it. I stepped to the side and brought my Penis down hard on my assailant's arms, cutting them off at the wrist. The enemy troop looked like he was in so much pain, I did him a favor and put him out of his misery with a swift kick to the head. It was then that I spotted whom I can only assume was their captain. I few yards away from me stood a giant of a man. He was seven feet of muscle and his skin was a sickly shade of green. He was bald, except for a single braid that ran down his back, and he had an under-bite would have made a bulldog jealous. I realized an opening had just presented itself. If I was able to take this guy out, their army would no longer have anybody giving orders and we might be able to make an opening to retreat. I walked up to him with a glare that would have made Zen shake in his boots. When the beast of a man saw me, he let out a large roar and raised his Penis in acceptance of my challenge. Before I even had a chance to make a plan, the behemoth charged.

Back up on the wall, Green and Cam were locked in combat. Sparks flew from their Penises as each man did his best to strike the other down. The wall had gotten wet from the rain and the footing had become slick. Cam attacked high and Green took the opportunity to strike low. Using the slickness of the wall, Green slid underneath Cam's Penis, kicking out at Cam's shins as he went by. Cam was able to hop over the attack just in time to catch a kick to the jaw. He stumbled backwards, nearly toppling off of the wall. Green, seeing that Cam was teetering on the edge, launched his foot towards Cam's stomach. Cam had just enough time to dive to the side. Had he been a second later, he would have plunged down to the ground below. Green spun and loosed another kick in Cam's direction, but this time he was ready for it. He caught Green's foot and attempted to pull him to the ground. In order to prevent it, Green slashed out at Cam. Cam had no choice but to release Green's foot so that he could block the incoming attack. He deflected the oncoming Penis off his own and jumped back. Both Cam and Green were breathing hard. "Let's end this," panted Green. "One more strike, winner takes all," agreed Cam. Both men raised their weapon, and loosing a battle cry, they charged. They slammed into one another at the middle of the wall, Cam's Penis piercing Green's shoulder. "I win," whispered Green. Cam smiled awkwardly, coughing up blood. Green's Penis had gone straight through his heart and was sticking out the other end. "I guess-" wheezed Cam. "I guess I picked the wrong side after all." Green laid Cam down on the edge of the wall. "At least now I can go be with Rob." Cam said, a smile showing on his face. After one more cough, Cam's eyes closed.

_Crack._ That is the noise my ribs made as the behemoth slammed into me. I was launched off of my feet and hit the ground hard a few yards away. I rolled onto my knees clutching at my stomach. My ribs were on fire. The behemoth towered above me, raising his Penis in the air. Before he had the chance to strike, I rolled to the side, letting out a cry of agony. At least one of my ribs had to have been broken. Now wasn't the time to worry about it though. Better a rib than my neck. I pushed myself up from the ground and readied myself for his next attack. The behemoth swung around to face me. Raising my Penis, I charged. For a seven-foot guy, he was pretty fast. He raised the tip of his Penis in the air, and aiming the tip of it at my heart, he launched it.

I barely had any time to react. I dove to the side, but the Penis had reached me far quicker than I thought it would. It passed over my shoulder, taking part of my left ear with it. I rolled to my knees clutching my ear. I could feel the warmth of the blood trickle down my neck. So far, this wasn't going well. I looked up to see that the behemoth had closed the distance between us. He reached down and grabbed me by the neck, lifting me into the air. He held onto my neck like a vice. Everything around me began to go dark and spots danced in front of my eyes. Just as I was about to lose consciousness, a Penis dropped, slicing his arm right off. I fell to the ground gasping for air, my lungs burning. The behemoth stumbled backwards, gripping his stump and howling in pain. It was then that I saw my savior. Standing a few feet in front of me was Chro, that pesky security guard. His Penis was dripping with blood. In his right hand he held onto the arm of the behemoth. He extended it towards me and said, "Give you a hand?". I rolled my eyes and groaned. I don't know what was more painful, my half-missing ear, my broken ribs, or that pun. Chro tossed the arm aside and helped me to my feet. "Thanks" I said. We turned and looked at the behemoth. "You will both pay for that!" he growled as he reached for his Penis. He must have been delirious from the pain because he seemed to have forgotten that he had already thrown it. After he realized he no longer had his Penis, he roared in frustration. Lowering his shoulder, he ran towards us. The two of us side stepped simultaneously and Chro stuck his foot out. The behemoth actually tripped. After seeing that, it was embarrassing to think that I had actually almost lost to this guy. Chro jumped on his back, and lifting up the behemoth's head by his braid, slit his throat. "I have to remember not to get on his bad side," I thought to myself.

With both the behemoth and Cam dead, the opposing army began to falter. Our counter attack had begun. Slowly but surely we were beginning to recover. After regrouping the majority of our force, we were able to take back the south side of the Sanctuary, and with it, we secured a path of retreat. Just then we heard a loud war horn. Green turned towards where the enemy had first appeared and his eyes widened. He turned back to us and yelled, "DRAGON-SHEEP!" Sure enough, Spyro shot out of the forest, circling above us like a vulture. The appearance of their leader seemed to reinvigorate the enemy troops and they began to close in on us once again. Spyro landed next to Green on the wall, her tail flicking back and fourth. We needed to retreat soon or we would be completely closed off again. "Focus on keeping the south lane open!" I ordered. I looked up at the wall to see Green engaged in combat with Spyro. "Green!" I yelled, "We need to go!" He didn't seem to hear me. I looked back to see the south lane closing quickly. I cut down three or four enemies that had stepped into my path. I looked back up to the wall. "Green-!". What I saw made my heart drop. Green was frozen in place, his Penis held above his head as if he had been about to strike. Spyro's tail had stabbed straight through his stomach. Green looked down at his wound in astonishment. Spyro pulled her tail out of Green and took to the air. Green turned his head to me and mouthed, "Go.." before toppling off the edge of the wall.

Both anger and sorrow swelled up within me. I wanted so badly to charge straight up there and take on Spyro, but I knew I was no match for her. With a tear running down my face, I turned to our troops and shouted "RETREAT! EVERYBODY TO THE PLATEAU!" As one, we all turned to the path we had held open, and ran. It was about two miles to the plateau. Normally two miles doesn't seem like a lot, but when you are being chased by a hoard of enemies and a Dragon-Sheep, it seems like an eternity. Eventually, I saw the clearing through the trees that the remainder of our force was waiting on. Of the twenty or so troops that Green and I had started with, only about six of us made it to the plateau. As the six of us busted through the line of the trees and out onto the open ground, our allies formed ranks around us, ready for the assault that was to follow. I took this chance to run over to Zen and Austin. "What the hell happened?" demanded Zen. "They surrounded us from the start," I panted. "It's a miracle we even made it out of there at all." "And Green?" Asked Austin. I just shook my head. Austin and Zen looked at the ground. After a moment of silence, we readied ourselves for battle.

A few moments later, the enemy poured out of the forest and onto the open ground. For the most part, our plan had worked. When the enemy realized how many fresh troops were waiting in the clearing for them, their formations began to fall apart. I led our troops in the counter assault and we began to pick their forces off in their confusion. Shortly after the battle had begun, Spyro arrived, crashing through the trees of the forest as if it was simple as snapping a toothpick. Zen reached over and grabbed his Penis. Austin pulled his Penis from its sheathe. Zen turned to me and said, "Keep our men focused on the enemy forces. This is your war to command now." Then he turned to Austin and nodded. "Good luck," I said and turned back to the battle that was currently being waged. Austin and Zen stood near the edge of the cliff as Spyro spiraled down to the ground, landing a few yards form them. "Together we fight," whispered Zen. "Together we die," replied Austin. And with that, the final battle had commenced.

Spyro let out a spout of blue fire followed by the scariest "BAAAHHHHHHHHH" that I have ever heard. She slowly circled around the two warriors in front of her. She flicked her tail back and fourth, taunting them. Her voice came out as a soft, soothing sound. Had we not been in a war, it might have been relaxing. "It is over little men." She cooed. "You can not defeat me. I have grown more powerful than both of you. I really should thank you Austin. Had you never given me the Emerald Penis, I would never have attained the power I have now. I suppose I should thank Rob too, since had he not banned me in the first place, this never would have happened." She looked down at her stomach and hissed, "Thanks Rob." Never had I seen Zen angry. He had always been the most levelheaded guy in our army. But when Spyro said that, he completely lost his cool. "You're time has come" he snarled. 'Zen wai-" Austin started, but it was too late. Zen had charged forward, Penis raised in the air. Spyro showed off a toothy grin before blasting a column of scorching hot flames in his direction. Zen, the badass that he was, didn't even flinch. Instead, he ran straight into the fire, slashing at Spyro as he made it out the other side. Spyro was not expecting that. She tried to take off, but due to her initial shock of what she just witnessed, she was a bit delayed. She only made it about a foot off of the ground before the tip of Zen's Penis stabbed through her tail, nailing her to the ground. Zen hadn't gotten off scot-free with that little maneuver either though. The left side of his body had been burnt and his hair had been singed off. "Austin! Now!" he yelled. Zen held out his hands to give him a boost. Austin sprinted forward and using Zen's lift, jumped high into the air and landed on Spyro's back. The grass around where she had been pinned was sizzling from the acidic blood seeping from the wound in her tail.

Austin raised his Penis in the air, preparing to strike. Just as Austin was bringing down the Penis, Spyro launched herself into the air. When she reached the peak of her ascent, the Penis pulled straight out of the ground. Austin had no choice but to hold on for dear life. Spyro spiraled through the air trying to shake Austin from her back. In an attempt to hold on, he stabbed his Penis deep into the scales on her back; however, this only pissed Spyro off even more. Realizing he needed to end this quickly, Austin swung over to Spyro's wing, hanging onto the handle he had just made in her back, with one hand. He pulled a Penis from his belt and jammed it into the tip of the Dragon-Sheep's wing. Flame shot out of Spyro's mouth in anger and pain as she began spiraling back down to the ground.

It wasn't the smoothest landing in the world. Spyro had come in too fast and as she hit the ground, Austin was sent flying off of her back. Zen did his best to catch him, but ended up going to the ground with him. Zen helped Austin up and brushed the dirt from his arm. "Good, we've grounded her," he said. "Now we just need to finish the job." Austin nodded and reached for his Penis. Unfortunately, he realized it was still sticking out of Spyro's back. "Distract her," he told Zen. "I need to get my Penis back." Zen readied his Penis. Spyro didn't wait to see what they did next. Instead, she shot a ball of fire in Zen's direction. This time, Zen dove to the side. As he rolled back to his feet he yelled, "Go!" and ran towards Spyro. She, however, had no interest in Zen. Instead she turned to Austin and swung her tail. Austin ducked the tail and continued to sprint towards her back. Zen, realizing his baiting wasn't working, decided to go on a full out offensive so that Spyro would have no choice but to defend against him. He ran straight at her head and swung his Penis. As quick as lightning, Spyro brought her tail back around and smacked the Penis out of Zen's hands.

Zen picked himself up off of the ground and shook off his daze. The Penis had landed pretty close to Austin, who was currently involved in an intense game of dodge-tail. Every once in a while, Spyro would shoot a fireball in order to back him off. Zen began to make his way over to wear his Penis had landed. Just as he reached down to grab it, Austin lost the game and took a tail to the chest, knocking him back into Zen. "Do you see now?" Spyro taunted. "Fighting me is futile. Swear your loyalty to me and I will let you rule Twitch by my side. It is either give in or die." Austin scowled, "As if you would let people rule alongside you. I would rather die fighting than live on my knees." Spyro sneered. "Then die you shall." Neither Zen nor Austin had realized that while they were talking, Spyro had coiled her tail behind them. With lightning fast speed, she struck her tail out at Austin. Zen, realizing what was about to happen, shoved Austin out of the way. The tail pierced through Zen's chest. Zen clutched frantically at the tail as if trying to pull it out but to no avail. He sat there coughing and sputtering until eventually, his body fell limp. Spyro flicked her tail, sending his corpse flying to the ground a few yards away.

"NO!" Austin screamed, running to Zen's side. He knelt down to inspect the damage, but it was obvious that he was gone. "I promise..." Austin whispered. "You were my best friend. I promise that I will do whatever it takes to end this war." With his final goodbyes, Austin reached down and closed Zen's eyes. When he stood up, there was a calm fury in his eyes. He strode forward and gently picked up Zen's Penis. He narrowed his eyes and hissed, "This is for Zen."

Austin surged forward, determination on his face. Spyro however, was not impressed. She spun around, sending her tail hurtling towards Austin at an ungodly speed. But Austin had expected that. Sliding to a stop, Austin raised the Penis and swung. Spyro screeched out in pain as her tail separated from the rest of her body. The acidic blood rained down on Austin, but he was not fazed. He was already beaten and bloody: what were a few minor burns to him? Hatred burned in Spyro's eyes. "I have always respected you" she hissed, "But today is the day you die." Austin narrowed his eyes and said, "I will kill the corruption in you, even if it means killing you as well." Austin readied his Penis and ran straight at Spyro. She sneered. "Fool," she said as she shot fire in his path. That was what Austin had been waiting for. Just as the fire reached him, Austin slid to the ground, watching as the fire shot by overhead. When he reached just in front of Spyro, he dug his heel into the dirt and launched into the air. Spyro didn't see him until it was too late. Spinning in the air, Austin let go of the Penis. Spyro had no time to react. The Penis spun through the air and with a "_schlick", _Spyro's head went flying. Austin collapsed to the ground, completely stunned. With a thump, the headless body of the Dragon-sheep hit the ground.

When Spyro's remaining forces saw the head of their leader sail through the air, whatever structure they had left completely collapsed in on itself. We picked as many of them off as we could. The remainder scampered off into the woods with their tail between their legs, never to be seen again. For a few minutes, the battlefield was completely silent. At the beginning of the fight, not a single person here expected to survive the day. Yet here we were, standing around the corpse of the Dragon-Sheep, victorious. After a moment, Austin climbed a rock and turned to us all. "Today is a day that will never be forgotten. Today we stand victorious. In the last half of a year, we have seen many of our closest friends and allies fall, fighting for a world that they could believe in. Today, we have done just that. Now that Spyro has been defeated, Twitch can once again be free. Take this as a lesson. Power is a dangerous thing to have. When one get's too much of it, it begins to corrupt the mind. But let us not forget who Spyro was. She may have gone mad with power, but deep down inside she was still a friend to us all. Let us not forget that, and let us always hold and cherish that memory of her." Together, we raised our fists and cheered.

At the beginning of the war, we had over 200 troops. By the time Spyro was defeated, we were down to just thirty-seven. So many of us fought and died for what we believed in. Among the dead were Peng, Rob, Green and Zen. Without the sacrifice those four men made, none of this would have been possible. A service was held for every single hero that died in the war. That included Cam and Spyro. After all, they had been our friends at one point too. As I write this, I hope that those of you reading appreciate the sacrifice that all of them have made. We fought to make Twitch a world worth living in. Hopefully now that this chaos is over, we can begin building towards a brighter future. Under Austin's guidance, we have established a military should the need for one ever rise again. Hopefully that is unnecessary.

Until I am needed to fight for this world once again, I leave you with the hope that you appreciate what has been fought for, and what has been won, so that you can live a normal life here in Twitch.

_* Again I just want to say that everything I have written in this is completely for fun. I respect all people in this and in no way think any of them are scumbags or anything else that paints them in a negative light in this story. Except for Josh. He is a scumbag. But that's just his thing 3._


End file.
